Pun Joke Nacho Chips

Pun Intended

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Pooh Pun

What we need is more alligator puns

Guillotine Thoughts

THE GAMBLER: I QUIT(MOM ALWAYS SAID YOU SHOULD QUIT WHILE YOU ARE A HEAD)

THE LONER: I AINT GOT NO BODY.

THE STOCK BROKER: I GOT A HEADS UP IN THEM STOCKS.

THE ACCOUNTANT: 176 177 178 179 18-----.

THE BASKETBALL PLAYER: SLAM DUNK AT LEAST I SCORED ON MY WAY OUT.

THE PORN STAR:WHEN I SAID I WANTED HEAD THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT.

ANOTHER GAMBLER:HEADS I WIN.

THE ARTHRITIC: OOOOOH THE BACK PAINS GONE.

THE JOCKEY: AWW LOST BY A HEAD.

THE SPIRTUALIST:IS THERE ANY BODY THERE.

THE PSYCIATRIST: NOW IM THE BASKET CASE.

Bad Puns

..There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

...A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amahl. "But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl."

...A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked as they moved along. "Because," said the manager, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Puns by Sophomores

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Sans Serif

Under Attack

Obi-Juan Kenobi