Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Conspiracies (Web Exclusive)

Key & Peele - Spoiler Alert

53 Terrible Jokes!

Top Shakespearean Insuly

http://mentalfloss.com/article/58813/15-fantastic-and-filthy-shakespearean-insults

Asking the Big One

Guy walking down a beach in California. Sees a bottle, picks it up. Rubs it. Out comes a genie.
"I'll give you one wish," says the genie.
"I'd love to go to Hawaii, but I'm afraid of boats, afraid of planes. I want to drive there, so build me a bridge to Hawaii."
"Geeez!" said the genie. "I know I said 'anything,' but the amount of concrete and materials for such a bridge, the engineering, well, I'm afraid you've wished for something that's virtually impossible to do, even for me. Please, wish for something else."
"Okay, how about this. I just want to understand women."
"Two lanes, or four lanes.

Christian One Liners

Christian One Liners Don't let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case. Many folks want to serve God, But only as advisers. It is easier to preach ten sermons... Than it is to live one. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, But mosquitoes come close. When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there. People are funny; they want the front of the bus, Middle of the road, And back of the church. Opportunity may knock once, But temptation bangs on the front door forever. Quit griping about your church; If it was perfect, you couldn't belong. If a church wants a better preacher, It only needs to pray for the one it has. We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges. Some minds are like concrete... Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. I don't know why some people change churches; What difference does it make which one you stay home from? Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. Don't put a question mark where God put a period. Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church. Forbidden fruits create many jams. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!' God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats! Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty! The task ahead of us is never as... great as the Power behind us. The Will of God never takes you to where the... Grace of God will not protect you. We don't change the message, The message changes us. You can tell how big a person is... By what it takes to discourage him/her.

150 Monty Python Sketches

http://onemansblog.com/2006/12/01/a-compendium-of-150-monty-python-sketches/

College Son Wants Money

Letter Sent By College Student To His Dad

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad

If you think so...

Inner Strength 

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, 
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, 
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, 
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, 
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, 
           through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, 
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, 
If you can face the world without lies and deceit, 
If you can conquer tension without medical help, 
If you can relax without liquor, 
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, 
If you can do all these things,

 

Then you are probably the family dog. 

Chuck Norris Reads Chuck Norris Facts

Gun Control

2 Dollar Bill Story

2 Dollar Bill Story

RSC - Macbeth

If Men Ruled the World

If Men Ruled the World Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme." Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. Tanks would be far easier to rent. Garbage would take itself out. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps." Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!" Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. "Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.) The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle." Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

Anjelah Johnson on Prayer

It's Dark and We're Wearing Sunglasses

Do You Have a Bad Feeling About This?

Interrupting Cow

Perfect Date?

Mr Bean Teaches us what NOT to do!!!