I LIke Jokes

One morning, Kevin wakes up to find his dog dead, lying next to his bed. He can't quite believe it, so decides to take him to the vet. The Vet takes one look at the dog and says, "Kevin, I'm truly sorry, but your dog is dead."

"No. He can't be dead. I demand a second opinion!" replies Kevin.

The doctor nods and agrees. He goes into the back room and brings out a cat. The cat jumps all over the dog, bites it, looks at the vet and says, "Meow."

The vet again says, "I'm sorry but your dog is truly dead."

Kevin says, "No!, I don't believe it, I want another opinion."

The vet nods and brings out a Labrador Retriever, which then begins to jump all over the dead dog, tugging at it before barking, "Woof roof woof!"

The vet says, "Sir, your dog is dead. That will be 400 dollars."

" to tell me my dog is dead?" asks Kevin.

"Well," the vet replies, "I charge 50 dollars, the cat scan is 200 and the lab test is 150 dollars..."


There are two brothers, Sam and David. Sam asks David to to watch his house and cat while he is away on vacation. Sam calls David.

"Hey, how are things? House is still standing? How's my cat doing?"

David swallowed hard, "Well yeah man, your house is still standing. Nice place you have here by the way. Sorry to tell you this but you cat died though."

"What?" Sam said. "You just can't tell someone that their cat is dead. You have to break it down to them gently. The first time I call you should say that the cat is on the roof trying to catch a bird. The second call you should say that the cat lost its footing trying to catch the bird as it flew away, it fell and now it's at the vet. The third call you should be to tell me that the vet says that it's not looking good for the cat. On the fourth call you let me know that my cat died peacefully in its sleep."

David agreed.

"So," Sam continues. "How's Grandma?"

"Well, Grandma's on the roof playing with a bird."