Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The difference between golf and skydiving
In golf the following is heard: "Whack" - dang it". In skydiving the following is heard: "Dang it - whack!"
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Intern Hero
Intern Hero
In these tough economic times, more and more companies are relying on interns to get the job done. The hours are long, the rewards are few, the pay is meager. The interns of America deserve more. They deserve to be heroes.
This summer, Little Debbie (a brand of cookie- and cake-based dessert snacks from McKee Foods Corporation headquartered in Collegedale, Tennessee, USA.) is giving out 200 large sampler boxes of Little Debbie Muffins to currently employed interns in the continental United States.
All you have to do is send them a photo of you holding a sign asking for muffins. Check out the details here. If you win, they'll post the photo on their blog and send the muffins to your office. Sorry, USA citizens only.
In these tough economic times, more and more companies are relying on interns to get the job done. The hours are long, the rewards are few, the pay is meager. The interns of America deserve more. They deserve to be heroes.
This summer, Little Debbie (a brand of cookie- and cake-based dessert snacks from McKee Foods Corporation headquartered in Collegedale, Tennessee, USA.) is giving out 200 large sampler boxes of Little Debbie Muffins to currently employed interns in the continental United States.
All you have to do is send them a photo of you holding a sign asking for muffins. Check out the details here. If you win, they'll post the photo on their blog and send the muffins to your office. Sorry, USA citizens only.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Subject: Cutbacks
Subject: Cutbacks
In case you have not yet received the memo:
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, plus the condition of the economy, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
In case you have not yet received the memo:
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, plus the condition of the economy, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Nun Grading Papers
Nun Grading Papers
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE
BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND
NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE
WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING
THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN
OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE
DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES
WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE
HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO
STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE
FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA
CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GU! ! YS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND
JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY
SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET
THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH
IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE
BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND
NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE
WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING
THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN
OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE
DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES
WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE
HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO
STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE
FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA
CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GU! ! YS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND
JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY
SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET
THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH
IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
Not Always What It Seems
A Matter of Perspective
A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to
Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if
the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he
walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly
underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and
calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to
get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would
like to stretch his legs."
Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up
and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing
sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to
change airlines!
True story.... Have a great day and remember...
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to
Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if
the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he
walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly
underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and
calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to
get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would
like to stretch his legs."
Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up
and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing
sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to
change airlines!
True story.... Have a great day and remember...
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
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