Someone once asked Jean Cocteau, "Suppose your house were on fire and you could remove only one thing. What would you take?"
Cocteau considered, then said, "I would take the fire."
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Hire Me??
Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Name: Greg Bulmash.
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I'm worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what?
Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.
Sign here: Aries.
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Name: Greg Bulmash.
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I'm worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what?
Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.
Sign here: Aries.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
10 Disasters
Popular Mechanics listed the 10 worst disasters of the last 101 years - and delve into whether we are more prepared to face them now as compared to then. The disasters listed are:
1906 - San Francisco Earthquake Fire
1910 - The Big Burn (of Idaho and Montana)
1918 - Spanish Flu Pandemic
1925 - Tri-State (Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana) Tornado
1938 - The New England Hurricane
1964 - The Great Alaskan Earthquake
1974 - Super Tornado Outbreak (13 states in USA)
1980 - Mount St. Helen Eruption
1993 - Storm of the Century (eastern US)
2005 - Hurricane Katrina (with largest damage in New Orleans, Louisiana)
1906 - San Francisco Earthquake Fire
1910 - The Big Burn (of Idaho and Montana)
1918 - Spanish Flu Pandemic
1925 - Tri-State (Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana) Tornado
1938 - The New England Hurricane
1964 - The Great Alaskan Earthquake
1974 - Super Tornado Outbreak (13 states in USA)
1980 - Mount St. Helen Eruption
1993 - Storm of the Century (eastern US)
2005 - Hurricane Katrina (with largest damage in New Orleans, Louisiana)
I don't want his help.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Motivate Thyself
"Lord make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred let me sow love, where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light, and where there is sadness, joy."
"O divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
St. Francis of Assissi
"O divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
St. Francis of Assissi
If
[IF]
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
A story to Ponder
A man, Malcolm, and a lady, Linda, who are very much in love and devoted to one another are separated by a river with no way of getting across to the other side. On Linda’s side of the river, there is a man named Barry who owns a boat and is able to take her over the other side of the river, but refuses to do so unless she pays him a price double that of a normal boat ride across a river. Linda has no money, let alone enough to pay Barry. Another man, Steve, on Linda’s side of the river tells her that he will her the money she needs if she sleeps with him. Linda agrees to do so and on receiving the money pays Barry who takes her over to the other side of the river. She is reunited with Malcolm and they are very happy together.
However, Frank, a friend of Malcolm’s finds out what Linda did with Steve and immediately tell Malcolm. On learning the news, Malcolm finds Linda and ends things with her, stating that he wants nothing more to do with her.
Your task is to rank these five people, Malcolm, Linda, Barry, Steve, and Frank from best person(1) to worst person(5).
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
However, Frank, a friend of Malcolm’s finds out what Linda did with Steve and immediately tell Malcolm. On learning the news, Malcolm finds Linda and ends things with her, stating that he wants nothing more to do with her.
Your task is to rank these five people, Malcolm, Linda, Barry, Steve, and Frank from best person(1) to worst person(5).
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
An Adult's Resignation
I Want To Be Six Again
To Whom it May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality.
I want to be six again.
I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.
I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.
I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.
I want to be six again.
I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.
I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.
I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.
I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist and how to find the money to fix the old car.
I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want that time back.
I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fight with my spouse, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.
I want to be six again.
Author Unknown
To Whom it May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality.
I want to be six again.
I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.
I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.
I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.
I want to be six again.
I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.
I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.
I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.
I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist and how to find the money to fix the old car.
I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want that time back.
I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fight with my spouse, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.
I want to be six again.
Author Unknown
A Blonde at Work
The Trucker and The Blonde
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said,? "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!
FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said,? "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!
FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Life Lessoins from Noah
The Top 10 Life-Lessons from Noah's Ark
Category: Personal Foundation (BJ14)
Originally Submitted on 10/3/98.
The Biblical story of the great flood (see Genesis 6:1-9:17)has been around for a long time. It has counterparts in many other cultures. Each generation has learned much from the story -- and so can those of us in the coaching community! Needless to say, "Always build on the highest ground possible", because character always counts! Here are ten more:
1. Always plan ahead.
There wasn't any rain in the forecast when Noah started building the ark.
2. Don't listen to your critics.
Listen instead to your heart, and then dowhatever has to be done. The neighbors might have taunted when Noah was blocking theirdriveway -- but he had the last laugh as soon as the rain began falling!
3. Stay physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally fit.
You never know but that when you're 600 years old, someone might come along out of the blue and ask you to do something REALLY big!
4. Don't seek to go it alone.
Always travel, at least, in pairs, because two heads are better than one.
5. Speed is not always an advantage.
The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails; and they all arrived safely on dry ground at the very same time.
6. Handle Conflict with certainty.
If you can't fight or flee from adversity -- at least make certain you have an idea that can float in the battlefield of ideas!
7. Don't miss the boat!
Never forget this underlying truth: that ultimately when all is said and done, we're all in the same boat!
8. Be flexible in your thinking.
Remember that amateurs built the ark while professionals built the Titanic and the Challenger Space Shuttle.
9. Remember that Fear is nothing more than "False Evidence Appearing Real".
The woodpeckers on the INSIDE are often a bigger threat to your overall well being than the storms raging on the outside.
10. Remain faithful and optimistic.
No matter how bleak things look, if God is traveling with you, there's always going to be a rainbow of peace on the other side of the storm.
Category: Personal Foundation (BJ14)
Originally Submitted on 10/3/98.
The Biblical story of the great flood (see Genesis 6:1-9:17)has been around for a long time. It has counterparts in many other cultures. Each generation has learned much from the story -- and so can those of us in the coaching community! Needless to say, "Always build on the highest ground possible", because character always counts! Here are ten more:
1. Always plan ahead.
There wasn't any rain in the forecast when Noah started building the ark.
2. Don't listen to your critics.
Listen instead to your heart, and then dowhatever has to be done. The neighbors might have taunted when Noah was blocking theirdriveway -- but he had the last laugh as soon as the rain began falling!
3. Stay physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally fit.
You never know but that when you're 600 years old, someone might come along out of the blue and ask you to do something REALLY big!
4. Don't seek to go it alone.
Always travel, at least, in pairs, because two heads are better than one.
5. Speed is not always an advantage.
The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails; and they all arrived safely on dry ground at the very same time.
6. Handle Conflict with certainty.
If you can't fight or flee from adversity -- at least make certain you have an idea that can float in the battlefield of ideas!
7. Don't miss the boat!
Never forget this underlying truth: that ultimately when all is said and done, we're all in the same boat!
8. Be flexible in your thinking.
Remember that amateurs built the ark while professionals built the Titanic and the Challenger Space Shuttle.
9. Remember that Fear is nothing more than "False Evidence Appearing Real".
The woodpeckers on the INSIDE are often a bigger threat to your overall well being than the storms raging on the outside.
10. Remain faithful and optimistic.
No matter how bleak things look, if God is traveling with you, there's always going to be a rainbow of peace on the other side of the storm.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Bible - An Introduction to the Word
The following is a copy of a clipping that a [person found on the inside cover of his or her Grandfather's Bible which was well worn and a 1909 Scofield Bible.
"This book contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable. Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you and comfort to cheer you. It is the traveler's map, the pilgrim's staff, the pilot's compass, the soldier's sword, and the Christian's character. Here paradise is restored, heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed. Christ is its grand object, our good its design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory and river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened in the judgment, and will be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labor and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents."
"This book contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable. Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you and comfort to cheer you. It is the traveler's map, the pilgrim's staff, the pilot's compass, the soldier's sword, and the Christian's character. Here paradise is restored, heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed. Christ is its grand object, our good its design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory and river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened in the judgment, and will be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labor and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents."
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
What an idea
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... "Da-d...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
uncommon common
When asked whether spending more than $600 million for higher education for United Technologies' employees was worth it, the CEO responds:
"Categorically...education is definitely the most powerful force in life. Educated people are more thoughtful. They're more widely read. They're more alert to change. They're more confident."
Educated in my mind is not just obtaining degrees or taking classes. It's about opening your mind to new perspectives and possibilities, constantly, by being lifelong learners. Being a voracious reader helps. And as my husband has told our two sons, since they were old enough to read, "Readers are leaders."
"Categorically...education is definitely the most powerful force in life. Educated people are more thoughtful. They're more widely read. They're more alert to change. They're more confident."
Educated in my mind is not just obtaining degrees or taking classes. It's about opening your mind to new perspectives and possibilities, constantly, by being lifelong learners. Being a voracious reader helps. And as my husband has told our two sons, since they were old enough to read, "Readers are leaders."
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Religion vs. Christianity
Religion has been defined as that which ultimately concerns us and demands our utmost commitment. It is that which controls our behavior and conditions our capacity for joy or sorrow. As such, sports can rightly be called a religion for many people. For them it is their ultimate concern and elicits a commitment that makes what the church gets from them pale by comparison.
No Matter What the Source - It is relevant
Bill Gates' High School Speech on The Eleven Rules of Life-Fiction!
bullet Summary of the eRumor
Bill Gates spoke before a group of high school students and gave them his eleven rules of life.
bullet The Truth
This is not from Bill Gates. It's an excerpt from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes. It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school and directed at high school and college grads.
A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:
----------Whether you like Bill Gates or not...this is pretty
cool. Here's some advice Bill Gates recently dished out
at a high school speech about 11 things they did not
learn in school. He talks about how feel-good,
politically correct teaching has created a full
generation of kids with no concept of reality and how
this concept sets them up for failure in the real
world.
RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.
RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.
RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.
RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.
RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.
RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.
RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.
bullet Summary of the eRumor
Bill Gates spoke before a group of high school students and gave them his eleven rules of life.
bullet The Truth
This is not from Bill Gates. It's an excerpt from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes. It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school and directed at high school and college grads.
A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:
----------Whether you like Bill Gates or not...this is pretty
cool. Here's some advice Bill Gates recently dished out
at a high school speech about 11 things they did not
learn in school. He talks about how feel-good,
politically correct teaching has created a full
generation of kids with no concept of reality and how
this concept sets them up for failure in the real
world.
RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.
RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.
RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.
RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.
RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.
RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.
RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.
More Rules to Live By
Underpromise and overdeliver.
Always preach the gospel. If necessary use words.
Remember the truth told with bad intent is worse than the worst lie.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul.
Forgiveness is not fair. Forgive anyway.
Remember trust is the greatest expression of love.
Stop Global Whining.
Pray.
Don't take yourself or others too seriously. Keep a sense of humor and laugh, even if it isn't that funny.
Family and friends are more important than money, things, or work. Work to live, don't live to work.
Study the past, learn from the present, plan for the future.
Always preach the gospel. If necessary use words.
Remember the truth told with bad intent is worse than the worst lie.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul.
Forgiveness is not fair. Forgive anyway.
Remember trust is the greatest expression of love.
Stop Global Whining.
Pray.
Don't take yourself or others too seriously. Keep a sense of humor and laugh, even if it isn't that funny.
Family and friends are more important than money, things, or work. Work to live, don't live to work.
Study the past, learn from the present, plan for the future.
some Rules to Live By
Don't make people wait. Be on time.
Say please, thank you, and I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter whether you leaped, fell, stumbled, or jumped into the valley of the shadow of death; the only way out is Jesus!
Life isn't fair; nor is it circus.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Don't take people or good fortune for granted.
Think for yourself. Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.
When a door closes, look for a window. Don't keep looking at the closed door and wishing it would open.
Make decisions based on prayer, study, feelings, and Godly counsel.
Remember God is on His throne. You aren't and neither are the other people of this world.
God's plans are for good and not for evil.
Say please, thank you, and I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter whether you leaped, fell, stumbled, or jumped into the valley of the shadow of death; the only way out is Jesus!
Life isn't fair; nor is it circus.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Don't take people or good fortune for granted.
Think for yourself. Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.
When a door closes, look for a window. Don't keep looking at the closed door and wishing it would open.
Make decisions based on prayer, study, feelings, and Godly counsel.
Remember God is on His throne. You aren't and neither are the other people of this world.
God's plans are for good and not for evil.
Good Advice
"Take that education. Don't tell me it's boring. You're going to be boring in about 10 years and you may be boring sitting in a cell because you decided to do something that broke the law. Why? Because you couldn't get a job. Why? Because you didn't give yourself a chance. Why? Because you don't like yourself. So he said 'Take that education and make yourself likeable.'"
A Quote from Bill Cosby as told by Paul Harvey on Tuesday, February 3, 2004
A Quote from Bill Cosby as told by Paul Harvey on Tuesday, February 3, 2004
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Armstrong and Getty
My day starts a little better when I can listen to Armstrong and Getty Click Here. Oddly enough I agree with most of what they say. They say things I wish I could think to say or wish I could say. Way to go guys! Keep it up! They are available on podcast as well. Give a listen. You won't regret it.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Reigning Cats and Dogs.
By the time the man got to the vet, the dog was dead. The veterinarian said, "I'm sorry, your dog is dead." The man would not believe him, so the vet asked the man if he wanted him to do the cat test. The man said, "Oh yes, anything, try anything." At that a door opened and in walked a cat. The cat walked all the way around the table the dog was on, paused for a moment, and finally shook his head no. The vet said, "I'm sorry, we both know your poor dog is dead." Then the vet said there was one more thing he could try. He said he would bring in the Labrador, and the man eagerly agreed. The Labrador did the same as the cat, shook his head and walked out. The man said, "Well I guess I just have to accept this, what do I owe you?" The vet told him the total would be $550. The man just lost it. Incredulous, he demanded, "For what? He was dead when I brought him in!" The vet said, "Well you only owe me $50, but it's $300 for the cat scan and $200 for the Lab test." Submitted by Steve Newbauer
Land of the Trids
Every morning the Trids got up, ate breakfast, and marched over the bridge to Tridville to work. One morning, a troll moved in under the bridge. When the Trids tried to cross the bridge, the troll climbed up and kicked the Trids all the way back to their homes. The Trids decided to take the day off in hopes that the troll would go away, but the next morning the troll once again climbed up onto the bridge and kicked them back to their homes. In desperation, the Trids decided to ask the Rabbi for help. So the next morning the Rabbi walked across the bridge several times but never saw the troll. He went home believing the troll had indeed moved on. When the Trids tried to cross the bridge afterward, the troll climbed up again and kicked the Trids back home. The Rabbi returned to the bridge and called out for the troll. When the troll appeared, the Rabbi asked why he was allowed to cross the bridge but not the Trids. The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids." Submitted by Mark Crawford
Period....................................................
Check out the periodic chart for the internet. This is very clever.Periodic Chart for the Internet
Friday, July 20, 2007
Benvolio Files
After seeing a wonderful production of Romeo and Juliet at the OSF (Oregon Shakespeare Festival) I have developed a theory. In short - it is a conspiracy launched by Benvolio and Rosalind. By the end of the play Benvolio is the only young member of both families still alive. Just think, he gets all the attention, all the presents at Christmas, all the inheritance. Wow. Romeo dead, Mercutio dead, Juliet dead, Tybalt dead. He's got it going on. And Rosalind. They say there's nothing like a woman scorned. She must have been really happy to have gotten awayh from Romeo when she did.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Travel odd
Two boys on a trip to Maui spotted cows while driving around the island of Maui. One of the boys remarked, "Look! There are cows in Maui! I didn't know they had cows on Maui"
The other boy responded, "Of course they do, where do you think they get pork..... duh...".
The other boy responded, "Of course they do, where do you think they get pork..... duh...".
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Too Funny for words.
clipped from: www.thehumorarchives.com
So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?
← previous next →
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any.... true story...
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked....
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard
So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?
← previous next →
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any.... true story...
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked....
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard
Saturday, June 30, 2007
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